Leapin' Lizards!

One morning when my brother and I were waiting for the manager to show up to unlock the door at the comedy club where we worked, a lizard jumped off the roof, sort of floated/glided to the ground between us, then took off running. Coley and I just looked at each other in delight, but I always wish I had thought to say "Leapin' Lizards!" because when else is it that appropriate?

We're back from a very nice relaxing beach mini-vacation. It was great--good food, beautiful beach, bloody marys at noon, fun company, and even one rainy day to go shopping. I enjoyed. And today I mailed off one proofreading project, leaving me with three copyediting projects to finish; one by Wednesday, the other two in mid to late July. Bing bang boom. And I got a check today that was really two copyediting jobs merged onto one check so it's nice and juicy. On the boo side, I will be working both Saturday and Sunday.

This morning I went in to my partest of part-time jobs to stuff some envelopes for two hours. As I was stuffing, my mind got to wandering and I realized something: Parody songs really went out of style, didn't they? For awhile they were quite popular and everyone knew the same ones, but then it seems as though we as a nation decided, "That'll do, Mr. Yankovic, that'll do. Just stick to VH1's I Love the Fillintheblank with Juliette Lewis and Hal Sparks." I guess some comics still write them, but they don't seem to be getting too much exposure.

You guys know what Thursday means!! That's right, rrrandom questiones. Let's get right to it, shall we?

1. What do you miss the most about your childhood?

My family being all together, moving around all over the place, my orange stuffed cat Sparkles, all my books I don't know what happened to, the best Christmases.

2. How many books would you estimate you own?

You mean besides the ones I had in childhood that have disappeared? A lot. Maybe hundreds. I can't get rid of books, I like to collect them and read them again and again.

3. Do you know any true visionaries?

No.

4. Who is the neediest person you know?

Hmmm, Peter Martin?

5. What is your nighttime routine before tucking into bed?

Depends on the night. Usually, reading or TV and then sleepy time. Sometimes, it's a cigar and some drinks and then sleepy time.

6. Last week Bleak found someone's head. What's the most disgusting thing you've ever found?

(Just so you guys know, "Bleak" didn't find anyone's head. It was a joke gone horribly wrong.) I once found a decapitated squirrel in a parking lot. It was disturbing.

7. What scents or odors do you associate with bad memories?

Bacardi. Hospital scents.

8. Have you ever flirted with a teacher or professor to get better grades?

No.

9. Have you ever been sued?

No. So sue me!

10. Do you have an unrequited love?

No.

~Bonus Question~What has the past year been like for you?

A whirlwind of activity. I went to Germany for a month, I graduated, I started a new career--it's been pretty good.

So, there you have it, folks. I need to get back to work now so I'll just take off, if that's cool with you. OK. I'll leave you with a picture of the beautiful beach of Anna Maria Island:

Beach Blanket BinGO

I am very happy to report that I am finished working for the week and tomorrow morning will be on my way to a weekend of relaxing fun. I've been working pretty long days for a couple of weeks now with a day off here and there so I'm ready for three days of no work. And only reading for fun. (Except there is pressure to finish the book for my book club--400 pages in two days? Why not, I say. The book is Lamb, by Christopher Moore, by the way, if anyone gives a flying frick.) We're going to Anna Maria Island to stay with Steve's aunt and uncle (the best hosts in the world) in the house they rent every summer near the beach. I will miss my little Junior Mints, but there will be two little girls (Steve's cousin's kids) there and they always make me laugh and are almost as cute as Junior. We will be back on Sunday in time for the book club meeting I may or may not have to wing my way through. Fortunately, having majored in English Literature, I am an old hand at winging my way through classes without actually having read the material. Just kidding, book club members, I'll read the book. I don't really like the Random Thursday Questions this week, but I've run out of things to say to you mothafuckas. Plus, it is a long-standing tradition.

1. When you Google yourself, what is the first result that comes up?
Some actress who is not very well known.

2. Are you presently the subject of any rumors?
I certainly hope so.

3. Have you ever given or received a "Dutch Oven?" (You might have to Google this one).
No.

4.What makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up?
Dutch Ovens.

5. How many of your ducks are in a row?
I like to keep my ducks in a V-shape; I find they're more comfortable that way.

6. What phrase or sentence will never come out of your mouth?
No more beer for me, thank you.

7. Have you ever been homeless or close to homeless?
Not homeless like a bum on the mean streets, but I did have to stay with my sister for about a month until I got an apartment a few years ago. A month of cigarettes and Super Nintendo.

8. What is intoxicating to you?
This question bugs me.

9. Do you have a will?
Where there's a will, there's an A

10. What is your absolute truth?
This question bugs me even more.

~Bonus Question~ Do you have a trademark--either physically, professionally or otherwise?
I'm always changing up the color and style of my hair, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a trademark. And I haven't trademarked the name of my business yet, so I'm going no on this one.

And that'll do it. Hope everyone has a good weekend, but not as good as mine!

Butt-Scratchah? Butt-Scratchah.

That, my fine-feathered friends, is my magic ring. Useful for zapping my enemies into oblivion with a single movement of my index finger. So, stay on my good side if you value your present oblivionlessness. This is going to be ubershort because I have to start proofreading my newest project. Looks pretty interesting so far and it doesn't have a bibliography or endnotes or footnotes so I am half in love with it already. So, briefly, my friend Marigold and her husband Steve have welcomed the newest addition to their family after what seemed like weeks of labor (just to me, I can't imagine how it felt to her!)--Yay for them! I am swampity swamped with work--a Yayish-boo for me! Keri started a blog--Yay! But her car is giving her trouble--Boo! We're going to the beach this weekend--Yay! I have to get back to work now--Boo!

TTFN suckas!

Linguistics, shminguistics

I am copyediting a book on linguistics and it is quite tricksy. It's well written and the author knows their stuff, but I have no idea what is happening in the pages I'm reading. Linguisticspeak makes my head spin. It's a pretty big project, and I will appreciate the pretty big paycheck, but I am earning every penny with this one. Well, it's Friday and my new favorite thing ever is a feature on Jezebel called Fine Lines. They reread and talk about YA books they loved as young gals and this week the book was Judy Blume's Deenie. I remember loving this book and also being terrified that I would get scoliosis and have to wear a horrible brace that would spell certain doom for my social life. I was probably 8 or 9. When I was in high school, I was told that I had "mild scoliosis" and I instantly flashed back to this book and freaked out until they told me it was no big deal and nothing would have to be done about it. Also in the book, Deenie has a "special place" that she rubs when she wants to relax and I never knew until reading this week's Fine Lines that she was actually masturbating. I thought it might just be some random place (elbow, forearm, who knows?) that she rubbed and for some reason it made her feel good. I think I missed a lot of things in the books I read when I was a kid. I also think I may have been reading some age-inappropriate material. Steve should be home soon with some wine and trashy tabloid magazines for me so it's time to go get my relax on. We here at Bandersnatch would like to leave you with a little something we like to call "Best Part/Worst Part" (completely stolen from my friend Cory's family--and I can't believe you don't do something like this on your blog or whatever it is you have, Cory) where we sum up the week thusly:
Best Part: A toss-up between getting a big copyediting project and Steve telling me "You can't just go stinking your way through life" when I didn't want to take a shower.
Worst Part: Some strange funk (or "creeping crud"--thanks Deenie!) on my elbow. The worst of it seems to have passed, fortunately.

Have a good weekend and take care of your "special place"!

Quickster

Well, hello there, and welcome back. This will be fairly brief as I need to get to work on a copyediting project. No, no, don't try and stop me--I need to make a living somehow. Since it is Thursday, we'll just dive right into Random Thursday Questions. (And by the way, my sister Mandy wins the *grand prize of the secret contest I had going for best answer to last week's random rant. Asked if she had anything she wanted to get off her chest, she replied, "Mouth-breathers, this is your final warning." and I laughed and laughed.) O.K., here we go!!

1. How often per day do you feel ugly?
Well, let me just consult my personal "Ugly Feelings Per Day" journal and tally up . . . I don't really think about it too much.

2. Have you ever sucked the toes of another person?
Grody to the max.

3. Have you ever witnessed "what goes around comes around" in action?
There was a story about a guy trying to shoot some puppies and somehow one of the puppies ended up shooting him, but I didn't personally witness it.

4. In what ways are you parsimonious?
I've always been kind of a cheapo.

5. Are there any parts of your body that you are ashamed of?
At the gym sometimes I am ashamed of the spaghetti-stick weakness of my arms. And in some lights, I think I might have a slight moustache.

6. Was there a teacher or professor that changed your life?
I really liked my second grade teacher, Miss Moore. She was great. And I had a teacher in college, Andrea Greenbaum, that really inspired me.

7. What is the most ironic thing that has happened to you recently?
I was at a picnic and all I really needed was a knife, but all I found were, like, ten thousand spoons.

8. Has someone ever saved your life, either figuratively or literally?
Not dramatically.

9. What is your biggest time waster?
Perez Hilton and mediabistro probably.

10. At this moment, how many people are you mad at?
No one. But I am mad about violins.

~Bonus Question~Do you ever blow your nose while in the shower?
I'm not sure how this would work. Like snot rockets?

In other news, I completed and sent off a copyediting test for a big publisher today, and it would be great if I get the gig. And last night while Steve was standing in the (fenced-in) backyard, a stranger came running through, jumped over the fence, and took off down the street. Chester didn't get the chance to bite him, unfortunately. And that's that! I'll leave you with these pictures of my cats, indoor and the neighborhood scavengers we feed:







*there is no grand prize, Mandy.

To me, you look like number two. If you know what I mean.

Aaaaaannnnnd we're back.


Happy Friday, everyone! Except for people that work on the weekends. Oh, wait, that's me. I take it back then--hope your weekend sucks it! Today, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to do a little something a poster on mediabistro likes to call "Random Thursday Questions." She posts them every Thursday in the Off Topic forum and everyone answers them and it's SO much fun I can hardly stand it. These little beauties will hopefully entertain you and maybe you'll even learn something. And feel free to answer them yourselves. Do it, it's fun. (Oh, and I realize it's not Thursday, but what's a gal to do?) Hold on to your hats!!


1. Do you know any true misanthropes?
Oh, I don't think so.

2. What has been your rock bottom?
I don't think I've hit "rock bottom" and I don't like your tone.

3. Has a spouse or partner of a friend ever hit on you, and if so, how did you handle it?
Nothing too scandalous to report. There may be some drunken moments out there, but nothing springs to mind, so then again, there may not.

4. Have you ever questioned your sexuality?
No. I gave it a stern talking-to in the late 90s but it just flipped me the bird.

5. In what ways to you live "green?"
Well, I don't drive very much. We take our own reusable bags to the store. Vegetarian. We have a rain barrel and we just started to compost, too. (I have a kind of funny story about the compost class we went to and perhaps I'll share it sometime.) We recycle.

6. Have you ever seen something in the sky such as a UFO, that you just couldn't explain?
Nah.

7. In what ways are you a freak?
I have some OCD issues. Checking and rechecking locked doors, I have to tear toilet paper off the roll in a straight line or it really bugs me.

8. What is the biggest risk you have taken this week?
It's been a slow week as far as risks go.

9. Do you think there someone at this very moment thinking about you?
Probably Steve. And he's probably thinking, "When is she going to get off the computer?" We have plans for lunch.

10. Are you presently keeping a juicy secret?
I can't keep a secret; I hate myself.

~Bonus Question~Time for our random rant. What would you like to get off your chest?
Besides this uncomfortable bra? Ha ha, I kid, but ladies, for real, right? Huh? Am I right??
Random rant--where my mothafuckin economic stimulus package at?

So, that was great, eh? I thought so, too. Well, I'm off to eat fajitas (or maybe enchiladas, I haven't decided) so I'll leave you with a photo of my leetle dog. He's going for a haircut today and he needs it! Maybe I'll post his after picture--won't that be fun!! And here is the after photo! Yay Junior!

Day One Stuff

Well, here we go again. I had a blog about four years ago and it was going along fine and then out of the blue my boyfriend broke up with me and that was the end of that (I actually didn't have my own computer four years ago). Well, don't worry, we got back together shortly thereafter. But I never started a new blog. And now since I'm really busy and have lots of things I should be doing today, I think it's time. And if my boyfriend breaks up with me again, I'm going to be pissed. The lovely picture is of a peach hibiscus that bloomed today from our plant in the backyard. This post isn't going to be anything too special (because I do have many things I should be doing) but I wanted to get something up here as an inspiration to myself. Perhaps I'll return after my work is done and really get this party started.